10 Best Toilet Papers Ranked (We Actually Tested Them)
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We Tested 10 Toilet Papers So You Don't Have To
Let's be honest. Nobody thinks about toilet paper until they're reaching for it and it's not there. Then it becomes the most important product in the world.
We've spent an embarrassing amount of time evaluating the best toilet papers on the market in 2026. From the big mainstream brands to the ones that'll make your guests stop dead in their tracks. We judged each on softness, strength, value for money, and where applicable, sheer entertainment value.
Here are the 10 best toilet papers you can buy right now.
Hold On. Before We Start: The Softness Problem Nobody Talks About
The toilet paper industry has been running a long con. For the past 30 years, every major brand has been competing to make the softest possible tissue, as if the end goal is to recreate the experience of being gently dabbed by a cloud. Ultra Soft. Cashmere Touch. Quilted Luxury. The marketing gets more absurd every year.
Here's the thing nobody says out loud: ultra-soft toilet paper is often less effective at actually cleaning you.
Ultra-plush tissue is engineered with micro-thin fibres designed to compress and disintegrate on contact. Great for your drains. Less great for the actual job. You end up using three times as much, which is not only wasteful but means you're essentially doing the same work with worse tools and more sheets.
Think of it this way. Would you wash your hands with a silk handkerchief? Sounds lovely. Does nothing useful. Cleaning requires texture. It requires a surface that makes contact and does some work. A toilet roll so soft it starts falling apart the moment you grip it is, functionally speaking, a problem dressed up as a luxury.
The sweet spot is what we'd call purposeful softness: comfortable enough that you're not sanding yourself, but with enough structure and integrity to get the job done properly in one or two passes. Worth bearing in mind as you go through these rankings.
1. Andrex Classic Clean — Best Overall
Rating: 4.7/5 | Softness: ★★★★☆ | Strength: ★★★★★ | Value: ★★★★☆
Andrex has been the benchmark for British toilet paper since 1942 and for good reason. The Classic Clean is the reliable workhorse of the bathroom cupboard. Consistently strong, soft enough for daily use, and long-lasting enough that you won't be changing the roll every 20 minutes.
The Labrador puppy on the packaging is doing more marketing work than most entire agencies. If you want a dependable, no-nonsense toilet roll that won't let you down at the worst possible moment, Andrex Classic Clean is the answer.
Best for: Everyday home use, people who don't want to think about toilet paper.
2. Charmin Ultra Soft — The American Gold Standard
Rating: 4.6/5 | Softness: ★★★★★ | Strength: ★★★★☆ | Value: ★★★☆☆
If Andrex is the British staple, Charmin Ultra Soft is what Americans reach for when they want a bit of luxury. It delivers on the softness front without question. Genuinely cloud-like. But refer back to the section above, because Charmin is exhibit A in the softness arms race. It's so plush that you'll use considerably more of it per visit than you would with a more structured option.
If comfort is your priority and you're not counting sheets, Charmin earns its place. Just go in with eyes open.
Best for: Those who prioritise comfort above all else and aren't shy about the roll count.
3. Who Gives A Crap — Best Eco-Friendly Option
Rating: 4.5/5 | Softness: ★★★★☆ | Strength: ★★★★☆ | Value: ★★★☆☆
Who Gives A Crap has built a cult following among environmentally conscious consumers and it's not hard to see why. Made from 100% recycled paper or bamboo depending on the range, it donates 50% of profits to building toilets in the developing world. The name alone deserves points.
Performance-wise, it punches well above its eco credentials. Genuinely soft, impressively strong, and the wrapping is so pretty you almost don't want to use it. Almost.
Best for: Eco-conscious households, people who want their bathroom habits to have good values.
4. Funny Toilet Rolls Donald Trump Toilet Paper — Best for Making a Statement
Rating: 5/5 | Softness: ★★★★☆ | Strength: ★★★★☆ | Laugh Factor: ★★★★★
We'll be transparent. We make this one. But objectively speaking, our Donald Trump Toilet Paper is one of the best-selling novelty toilet papers in the world for a very good reason. It does everything a proper toilet roll should do. Soft, strong, genuinely functional. And it makes a very clear political statement every time someone visits your bathroom.
Whether you love him or loathe him, there's something uniquely satisfying about having his face on your loo roll. Guests stop. Stare. Inevitably take a photo. It's a conversation starter, a gift idea, and a piece of novelty history rolled into one. Available in packs of 4, 8, 20 and 40.
Best for: Gifts, political statements, anyone who wants their bathroom to go viral.
Get Donald Trump Toilet Paper from £29.99 for 4 rolls
5. Cushelle — Best for Sensitive Skin
Rating: 4.4/5 | Softness: ★★★★★ | Strength: ★★★☆☆ | Value: ★★★★☆
Cushelle has quietly become the go-to for anyone with sensitive skin or those who find standard rolls a bit rough. The koala on the packaging looks permanently delighted with life, which is honestly how you feel after using this for the first time.
Not quite as strong as Andrex at double-ply, but for softness it's exceptional. Worth noting though: this one sits on the plush end of the spectrum, so keep the purposeful softness point in mind if you're buying for a household that gets through a lot of rolls.
Best for: Sensitive skin, families with young children.
6. Amazon Basics — Best Budget Buy
Rating: 4.2/5 | Softness: ★★★☆☆ | Strength: ★★★★☆ | Value: ★★★★★
Nobody is putting Amazon Basics on a pedestal. But there's a lot to be said for a product that simply does the job without demanding your life savings in return. Strong, functional, and costs considerably less per roll than any branded alternative.
It's not winning any awards for softness, but it won't disintegrate mid-use either. For offices, guest bathrooms, or anyone going through rolls at an alarming rate, it's the rational choice. It also, for what it's worth, gets full marks on the purposeful softness front. It has structure. It gets things done.
Best for: Budget buyers, offices, high-traffic bathrooms.
7. Funny Toilet Rolls Man Utd Toilet Paper — Best Gift for Football Fans
Rating: 5/5 | Softness: ★★★★☆ | Strength: ★★★★☆ | Wind-Up Factor: ★★★★★
If you know a Manchester United fan, or more likely someone who absolutely cannot stand Manchester United, our Man Utd Toilet Paper is the gift that keeps giving.
It's a proper, good-quality toilet roll. Soft, strong, does the job. It just happens to have the Man Utd crest printed across every single sheet. Whether that brings you joy or fury says a lot about where you grew up.
One of our best-selling products, particularly around Christmas and derby season, and particularly popular among City, Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea fans who want to send a very clear message.
Best for: Football fans, rival fans, Secret Santa, anyone who has run out of ideas for the football obsessive in their life.
Get Man Utd Toilet Paper from £24.99 for 4 rolls
8. Velvet — Best Quilted Option
Rating: 4.3/5 | Softness: ★★★★★ | Strength: ★★★★☆ | Value: ★★★★☆
Velvet does exactly what the name implies. Luxuriously soft with a quilted texture that adds genuine comfort without being wasteful. A quietly popular UK brand that often gets overlooked in favour of Andrex or Cushelle, but it deserves a spot on this list on sheer quality alone.
If you want something that feels premium without the premium price tag, Velvet consistently delivers. The quilted structure also gives it more texture than ultra-plush competitors, which as we've established, is not a bad thing.
Best for: Anyone who wants a step up from standard without paying luxury prices.
9. Quilted Northern Ultra Plush — Best US Three-Ply Option
Rating: 4.4/5 | Softness: ★★★★★ | Strength: ★★★★☆ | Value: ★★★☆☆
A staple in American households, Quilted Northern's Ultra Plush range is what happens when toilet paper engineers decide to take their job very seriously. Three-ply, incredibly soft, and stronger than you'd expect given how cloud-like it feels. Unlike Charmin, it manages to sit at the softer end without completely sacrificing structure.
Harder to find in the UK, but if you're stateside and wondering what to stock up on, this consistently beats Charmin on strength while matching it on softness.
Best for: US shoppers, three-ply enthusiasts, anyone who wants the ceiling of mainstream toilet paper.
10. Funny Toilet Rolls Novelty Range — Most Unique
Rating: 5/5 | Softness: ★★★★☆ | Strength: ★★★★☆ | Uniqueness: ★★★★★
Rounding out the top 10 with a category that deserves its own place: toilet paper you absolutely will not find in any supermarket. The full Funny Toilet Rolls range covers everything from political figures to football clubs, printed on proper, quality tissue that performs every bit as well as any mainstream brand.
Novelty and quality are not mutually exclusive. If you're buying a funny toilet paper as a gift, the last thing you want is for it to fall apart the first time someone actually uses it. Our rolls are made to be used. They just happen to be wildly more entertaining than anything else in the cupboard.
Browse the full Funny Toilet Rolls range
Final Verdict: What Is the Best Toilet Paper in 2026?
For everyday use, Andrex Classic Clean remains the UK benchmark. If softness is your priority, Cushelle is the standout. For eco-conscious shoppers, Who Gives A Crap is hard to beat. For pure budget value, Amazon Basics gets the job done without complaint. And remember: softer is not always better. The best toilet paper is the one that actually works.
But if you want toilet paper that performs AND makes people laugh, sparks a conversation, or makes for an unforgettable gift, that's where Funny Toilet Rolls comes in. Life's too short for boring bathroom visits.
All Funny Toilet Rolls products ship to the UK, USA, Europe and worldwide. Free shipping available on larger orders. Minimum order 4 rolls.